


I'm In So Deep

by somanyfeels



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Hurt Tony, Linger by the Cranberries, M/M, Music Sharing as a Form of Flirting, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Slow Dancing, Star Gazing as a Form of Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, briefly though - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 07:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13162215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanyfeels/pseuds/somanyfeels
Summary: Tony hated wormholes.  He hated how he was the one who always had to go into them to stop the aliens.  He hated looking out at the vastness of space and the armies that bore down onto Earth.  He hated how this time the portal closed behind him and left him on the wrong side.





	I'm In So Deep

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for the Starkquill Secret Santa. They wanted slowdancing and singing to each other and so I took 7000 to get there. A gift for angel-wings-and-tattoos on Tumblr.
> 
> I'm sorry I posted it late.

Tony hated wormholes. He hated how he was the one who always had to go into them to stop the aliens. He hated looking out at the vastness of space and the armies that bore down onto Earth. He hated how this time the portal closed behind him and left him on the wrong side.

Nearly a decade had gone by since New York. In that time the Avengers changed, almost an entirely new lineup, and he was the only one who was there when it happened in the team. This fight was smaller, there were no gods trying to take over Earth, they were different aliens with different technology and different motives. The solution was the same. Go through the portal and blow up the ships. The end was different, Tony didn’t make it back.

 

He had years to prepare the suit to sustain him in low oxygen and low gravity environments. No atmosphere. Nobody. He regretted preparing the suit. In this moment he wished he had died instead of just floating through the wreckage. Panic gripped him tight, stopped him from thinking of a solution, stopped him from thinking clearly at all, and he just laid there floating lightyears away from Earth. He was gasping, greedily taking as much from his oxygen supply as he could. He wasn’t going to last out here unless he could make contact with someone. Anyone. An alien species of sentient jello would be better than this vast nothingness, him alone in the wreckage of alien hostile ships.

 

It took a few hours for him to calm down. He needed to control his breathing, the suit wasn’t crushing him and it wasn’t suffocating him, he just had to breath slow. He had lost signal to Earth, too far for even FRIDAY to reach him, and he was entirely alone. Tony didn’t linger on the thoughts. He instead tried to find out where he was, but the stars were all different. He didn’t know which of those tiny pinpricks of lights lead home.

 

He shouldn’t have fixed the flaws of his suit. He shouldn’t have made it airtight, he shouldn’t have given himself a backup supply of air, he shouldn’t have programed most of the systems to function if he lost signal to FRIDAY, and he should have just left the suit flawed so he wouldn’t have to survive for an extended period of time out here. He could just open the suit and float off. He could.

 

He stared at the stars, wondering which one was his.

Something latched onto him, he felt the pull of the suit, and then the view of the stars was obscured by metal. He was laying down on his back, which was an odd thing since there was no such thing as down in space. No up, no down, and yet he was laying on the floor. He heard something and took one last breath of precious oxygen before he opened the helmet.

He exhaled as soon as the sound became clear. Tony sat up in the suit, his helmet open, and there shouldn’t be floors in space and there shouldn’t be music in space. He blinked at the creatures surrounding him.

 

"Am I listening to Toto right now?" Tony asked, looking at them all.

 

The music was so gratingly familiar that for a moment he wondered if he was back on Earth, had woken up from a horrible nightmare. Dreaming about wormholes wasn’t a rare occurrence for him, right now he would just be thankful it was just a dream. But the creatures surrounding him looked like nothing he had seen on Earth, a stick was standing on a raccoons shoulder.

“Are you Jennifer Walters? I don’t think I met you yet, Bruce’s cousin, right?” Tony said. He pulled the rest of his helmet off and tossed it aside so he could breathe easier.

They all kept staring and so Tony stared back. That definitely wasn’t She Hulk, the woman in front of him had green skin to match hers but the texture and patterns seemed strange. Tony wondered briefly if he was suffering from oxygen deprivation and was hallucinating. The raccoon scratched his head and looked up at another man, whose metal helmet made him look like a giant bug.

 

“What do you think we’ll get for him?” The raccoon said.

 

The man pressed his hand to the side of his head and the helmet disappeared into itself. Tony raised an eyebrow, watching the metal contract and compact itself into nothing.

 

“Why do you want to sell everyone? This guy just did our jobs for us.” The man said. His face had revealed itself from inside the mask and he looked almost human. Entirely human. His blond hair looked soft and he had stubble on his chin and cheeks. He looked like a normal man with a weird helmet and it seemed so out of place in this dream.

 

“Double the payout. The warships we were supposed to take care of were handled but we still get paid and then we can just hand off the robot for parts. Or hell, I’ll use the robot for parts if you’re so against selling the thing.” The raccoon said.

“Is the raccoon talking?” Tony asked.

 

“I’m not a raccoon!” It shouted back at him.

 

Tony sat on the ground, safe in his suit and watching them. He looked around. He had spent enough time on helicarrier and the quinjet to know he was on some sort of flying ship that was more technologically advanced than an average plane or jet. It was filthy though. There seemed to be the door to a hatch behind him, rust and dirt caked into the metal. They had probably brought him in through there. Which meant he wasn’t dreaming, or that the dream was getting more and more elaborate.

 

They creatures were arguing. Tony never thought he would be sitting on the floor of a ship, likely in outer space, watching a grown man argue with a raccoon that had a moving stick with a face on his shoulder. The woman was glaring at him. She was definitely not Jennifer Walters, Tony had seen pictures of Bruce’s cousin and despite the similar hue of skin they looked completely different.

 

She stepped forward, Tony opened his mouth to greet her and outstretched his hand but he was knocked back and a sword pointed at his throat. An actual sword.

 

“Who are you? Why are you here?” She hissed at him.

 

“Hey. Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Tony Stark. Iron Man. Currently in my multi-billion dollar battle armor so get off me and get the weapon out of my face.” He said. Even without FRIDAY operating the suit it still had some of its functionality. He still had the strength to push an alien off of him. She was about to lunge back but Tony held his palms up, repulsor lighting up as it prepared to fire.

 

“Okay, cool it. Everyone calm down. No one is in danger and no one is a danger. Relax.” The man said, moving between them and holding his hands up in a similar way Tony was, but without the threat. He was trying to diffuse the situation, which Tony could respect. He lowered his hands. “Hi. I’m Peter. People call me Star Lord.”

 

“Star Lord?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, Iron Man, and these are my friends. We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy. We picked you up floating out there after you won the battle for us.” Peter said.

 

“The Guardians of the Galaxy?” He said slowly. He had been in the superhero game for a long time and this wasn’t the strangest name he had heard from people. “Okay. Sounds good. I’m an Avenger. Leader of the Avengers now. Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. You know the deal.”

 

"Avengers?" Peter said.

 

"Alright, I'm going to be real with you Peter. I'm dead right now. Or experiencing very vivid and disturbing hallucinations due to the lack of oxygen and so I've decided to just ignore you and try to get back to Earth, which is probably a metaphor for crossing over into the light if I really am dead, either way, end destination." Tony said quickly. He pushed himself up and the armor opened up around him. "Now, question number one. Is this a space ship? Or the metaphorical vehicle of my subconscious carrying me towards heaven?"

 

"Yeah, it's a spaceship and it's my spaceship!" Peter said quickly.

 

Tony was fairly certain he was dead. Or close to it. If none of this was real then he had nothing to be afraid of. He saw the group around him stiffen, Peter's hand going to a gun at his hip. Tony just shrugged, looking back at the airlock that they had probably dragged him in from. He was simply relieved to not be floating around in the nothingness of space.

 

"Spaceship, good. Okay. Second question. Who exactly are you guys? In more specific terms." Tony said.

 

~~~

 

It had been a very long time since Peter had met someone from Earth. He met humans occasionally, years of intergalactic slavery and travel meant that a few people from every world wandered around somewhere or another. But they were all born up in space, had an entirely different culture and universal understanding than someone actually from Earth.

 

Tony was from Earth. Born there like he was. Half the time he was looking out the windows of the ship with wild excitement in his eyes and the other half of the time he avoided looking completely.

 

"So, you're from Earth too? Like a human being from Earth?" Tony said. It was a moment when he couldn't bare to glance outside the windows. There was nothing out there, but Tony seemed so absorbed into fiddling with his metal armor to even glance out there.

 

"Yeah, born there, kinda raised there for a few years." Peter said. Gamora and Rocket were sitting in the cargo hold with him, helping him to keep an eye on the stranger.

 

"And you're dad was not, if I'm following this story correctly." Tony said. He talked a lot. Peter couldn't tell if he was actually interested or just trying to fill the silence.

 

"Yeah. Technically he was a planet? Well, celestial is the normal term. So he was like a god, but also a planet?" Peter said quickly. This all probably sounded so strange to an actual human from Earth.

 

"Okay. So was he a hot planet? I'm not sure what makes a planet hot besides global warming." Tony said, laughing as if he made some sort of joke. He kept chuckling, oblivious to the fact that no one was laughing with him. "Anyway, why'd you leave Earth?"

 

"I think I was kidnapped." Peter said.

 

It wasn't how he wanted to remember Yondu, but in all technicality he was kidnapped. Even if Yondu became his family and the best dad he ever had. He didn't know how to explain it because if he thought too much on it he would start questioning it. Stuff like this didn't happen on Earth, at least not how Peter remembered it.

 

Tony talked constantly. Peter didn't have to worry about thinking too much because he could get lost in the words that just flowed from this man. If Peter had any questions at all about what Earth was like today then Tony would have the longest, most descriptive answer, which would lead into a rant about something else, and then something else, and Peter would have so much information on a whole series of things.

 

A lot had changed since 1988, but apparently everything was mostly the same anyway. People were still fighting and singing and lying and partying. People created machines to put more and more music on. He showed Tony his Zune with over a thousand songs on it. He thought Tony would be impressed, but the man looked down at it and back up at Peter with a questioning expression.

 

"Seriously?" Tony asked.

 

"Yeah, it's cool right?" Peter said.

 

Tony was laughing. Peter thought he would be pleased, a thousand Earth songs to make the trip a bit more bearable. They were a long way from Earth after all. A thousand songs and all this man was doing was laughing at it as if it were the funniest thing he had every seen.

 

"When was the last time you were on Earth again?" Tony said.

 

"1988." Peter said.

 

"And how did you get this piece of junk?"

 

"It's not junk! Yondu got it for me." Peter said, overwhelmed with a need to hide the zune from sight. Anger flared up inside as he gripped the small device tight and he resisted the urge to punch Tony square in the jaw.

 

"The latest Stark tech can hold up to 50,000 songs easy, with space for numerous other applications, or you could just listen to music on the internet and have an endless supply. But I guess we don't get internet out here, we might be a bit out of signal, even for my satellites." Tony said. He reached out for it, hand stopping in midair as Peter turned to shove it into his pocket. "Fine, keep it. At least tell me you have decent music on there."

 

"Well it has whatever music that came on it. They found it and gave it to me, and I like what's on it just fine." Peter said.

 

"More Toto?" Tony said, smiling at him.

 

"There is way more than just Toto." Peter said.

 

"Cool. Plug it in. Let me here it. I like music when I work, it tunes out distractions. Like you." Tony said, pointing his finger at Peter as he backed up slowly to go back to his robot suit. "Distracting."

 

Peter frowned. He turned his back on Tony only to see that everyone else had already left. Gamora and Rocket had already gone back upstairs and left him with Tony. It made his face heat up with embarrassment to not notice his friends leaving him with this man. It was such an odd thing to be embarrassed about and so Peter decided to ignore it.

 

He climbed the steps onto the main deck of his ship, his hands roaming over the counters as he walked towards the stereo to plug in his device. He still had one of his mother's tapes in there, ready to play a few select songs should the mood need it. He took it out and tucked it away with the other, he didn't want Tony to hear those songs right now. Instead he plugged in the zune, scrolling through the songs slowly to find something that Tony might find useful in helping him tune out distractions so he could work.

 

The way the ship was going, at top speed it would take little over fourteen months to get back to Earth. Maybe Tony's flying metal suit could get there faster, but Peter didn't think it would last long in a zero oxygen environment. Peter didn't even know where Tony would store food and water on that thing.

 

There was a song that came out before Peter was ever taken. His mother loved it, they used to hold hands and dance to it. Sometimes it would remind her of his father and talk about how he would come back. Peter never thought too deeply on a Mötley Crüe song about going home, but it felt applicable. It felt right. Peter was going home to a planet he hadn't been to in decades, nearly thirty years. It would be weird to go back.

 

The first few notes of the song started and the man started singing his melody. His mom never put this song on any of the tapes, but it was still very much one of her songs. It was strange, but Peter felt guilty. His father turned out to be a prick, the monster killed her, and she still thought of him every time she heard this song. Peter leaned back in his seat.

 

~~~

Tony recognized the song and though it wasn't his favorite it was nice to hear when he was on the other side of the galaxy. He knew how long it would take. Over a year to get home. A year on this alien space ship drifting through space. His team probably thought he was dead. His return would have to be spectacular, fireworks, a fog machine, maybe he could get Peter to announce his return on the loudspeakers.

 

'Associates of Earth, civilians, heroes, and supervillains alike. Back from Outer Space, from the darkest edges of the universe. I bring you, the invincible Iron Man!'

 

Then the crowd would scream as Tony zoomed in from the sky. He would say something witty to Rhodey and he would say something snarky back. Rhodey wouldn't think he was dead. That man looked for him for months in the desert, when all evidence said it was pointless and Tony was likely dead. He would believe Tony could survive over a year in space.

 

Tony wasn't working anymore. One hand was gripping a screwdriver so tight his knuckles turned white, his whole body felt tense, and he couldn't breath. There was plenty of air now, he wasn't suffocating out there anymore. He wasn't floating uselessly into nothing. Tony stared with wide eyes at the window, seeing the stars but not really comprehending anything at all. He saw the void, but he didn't see the window keeping it out. He saw himself just floating, but he couldn't feel the ship under his feet. He couldn't breath. There wasn't enough air to get into his lungs.

 

He dropped his screwdriver and stood up quickly, his hands shaking as he quickly reached up to brush his hair back with his fingers and wipe the sweat from his forehead. He wanted to go home. He hated this song.

 

Even if no one wanted him back on Earth he still wished he was home. That was a stupid thought though. People did want him, he had to remind himself. What was the point of that expensive, fancy therapist if he just let himself be pulled into those dark spots in his head. People did want him. Pepper was waiting for him. Rhodey was waiting for him. Hell, Peter the kid was waiting for him because who else would he hero worship. Happy was a good friend. Vision. Natasha still called to check on him even though she never came back from wherever she went. Tony was wanted, he was a good man, he repeated the stupid positive thoughts in his head and hoped they would stick to drown out the bad ones. He had a list of friends.

 

As stupid as the exercises were they did seem to help. His breathing slowed down, the song was less jarring, and he just avoided looking out the window. Tony counted to ten. He thought happy thoughts. Everything was a bit easier.

 

"Is that song up to your standards, Iron Man?" Peter said, poking his head out from upstairs. He took one look at Tony and then hopped down from the upper deck, not even bothering with the stairs. "Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine." Tony said.

 

"You look like shit. You didn't look like shit a minute ago." Peter said.

 

Tony forced a smile and shook his head. "Oh yeah? How did I look a minute ago?"

 

Peter's face scrunched up as if he tasted something sour. "Like a...normal guy."

 

Tony took a deep breath, inhaling slowly, holding it, and then letting it. His heart slowed down as he did, he tried not to make it obvious that he had been so close to panic. He tried to appear calm and in control.

 

"But like a hot version of a normal guy. Right?" Tony said.

 

"No."

 

The word came out rushed and a bit forceful and Tony smiled. Peter was cute. He was sweet and he was trying not to be. Tony could tell. How did a guy like him end up on the other side of the universe? The story was fantastic, kidnapped by alien Ravagers as they were called, father was a planet, and he grew up on the wrong side of interplanetary law. It was a nice story.

 

"I knew a kid named Peter back on Earth. He was a nice kid. He wanted to be a hero. I hope he's okay." Tony said. He sat back down on the small bench in front of his armor. There wasn't that much damage, not a lot was wrong with it, but it seemed entirely useless out here. Tony had the growing sense of dread that he was in over his head and not even close to being prepared for it.

 

"Well, I'm sure he's fine. He's still on Earth, right? He didn't get sucked out into space with you?" Peter said.

 

Tony's eyes grew wide with panic as he turned on Peter. "Why? Did you find anyone else out there?" Tony said quickly, his heart beating in a wild panic again, sending a pain through his chest. 

 

"No. Just you." Peter said slowly. "Do you need to sit down?"

 

"I'm fine. Everyone is fine." Tony said.

 

~~~

Peter decided to leave Tony alone after that. The man was either talking non-stop or close to a panic. He was practically living in the cargo hold, the windows covered with spare blankets, and fiddling with his suit.

 

"He's probably horrified." Gamora said, watching Tony in the cameras over Peter's shoulder. "He's probably never been off of Earth before, usually when people are born on Earth they stay on Earth, or at least in its immediate area. Except for you."

 

"I am Groot." Groot said, which probably meant something along the lines of 'terrified by the vastness of the universe and how small he is in comparison' or perhaps 'hasn't slept in the days since he got here so he's probably losing it'. Peter wasn't as skilled of a translator of whatever Groot was saying but Peter nodded in agreement.

 

"Yeah, I think he needs to sleep." Peter said.

 

"I can handle that." Gamora said, standing up straight and already heading for the stairs.

 

"No, I don't think you need to handle that. We can get Mantis to do it." Peter said quickly.

 

It was too late. Gamora just shrugged and took the stairs down to the cargo hold, not doing anything to make her presence known as she walked up to Tony, the man's back to her. He was talking to someone, narrating what he was doing and what he needed to get done, occasionally looking up at the ceiling when no one responded. The stress was probably getting to him. They were right, sleep would do him good. Though Mantis would have been gentler. Peter couldn't see what Gamora did with her hands but a few moments after she walked up to Tony and he was falling over to the side. She picked him up and tossed her over his shoulder, walking him over to the makeshift bed, just a pile of blankets and a pillow really, and dropped him down onto it.

 

She gave a thumbs up to the camera as she darted back up the stairs. "See, I handled it."

 

"You can't just attack people and knock them out." Peter said, looking at her as she rejoined them.

 

"It worked. He's asleep." Gamora said.

 

Peter raised an eyebrow and turned back to the camera. Tony was slumped over onto the blankets awkwardly, not even covered up. But he was unconscious and his chest was moving as he breathed so it was close enough to sleeping.

 

"We should drop him off somewhere. I don't see why we gotta go all the way to Earth for him." Rocket said. He jumped onto the console and tapped at the camera for a moment. "I think we could get a good price for him. I would say we scrap the metal armor, but I want to know what the shiny thing it."

 

Rocket's finger lingered over the light from the armor, shining bright even in the camera feed. Peter was surprised Rocket hadn't stolen it yet. "Don't." Peter said.

 

"Why not?" Rocket said.

 

"Well, maybe because some guy from Earth was floating out in space and has a cool robot suit and looks like he's a big hero on Earth and I don't think we want to piss off any more planets by selling him to Ravagers." Peter said.

 

"Who cares if we piss off a few planets? If he's such a big, important guy then maybe Earth will pay good money for him." Rockey said with a shrug.

 

"Maybe we shouldn't piss off my planet." Peter said.

 

“Your planet was shit anyway.” Rocket sneered. 

 

Peter stood up and glared at him. It was all talk. Rocket might mess with the robot suit but they weren’t going to just sell the guy off to anyone. Not even to his own planet. Besides, Peter was curious about the world. He wondered if the world missed him at all. He doubted it. He was nobody.

 

The team drifted off to their own areas, leaving Peter alone on the main deck. He just watched the camera, watched Tony breath slowly in the cargo hold so he knew Gamora didn’t accidentally kill the man

 

Peter was fascinated with him. That was all it was, simple interest in someone from his home world, who knew about it in vivid details. He wanted to ask more. He wanted to see just how much the world had changed while he had been gone. He would go to Earth himself, using Tony as an excuse to get there.

 

~~~

 

It was a week before Tony was satisfied that the suit was in functioning order. He had practically taken it apart and put it back together again religiously to make sure there was no lasting damage from the last battle. Nothing was going to just fall apart and kill him, at least not from any damage sustained recently. The main issue was the backup oxygen supply, much of which he used while he was floating, a tremble ran up his back. He had been hyperventilating much of the time, greedily gulping up the air while he had it.

 

He was sure if Jane was here she would be able to look out that window into a sky full of alien stars and know exactly where they were in the universe and whether they were going towards home or not. Tony could hardly stand to even think about looking outside and he wasn't an expert astrophysicist like she was. He couldn't see stars and know whether or not they were the same stars from back home. He could name every star in the sky from his tower, but here he couldn't recognize a single one for the few seconds he managed to look. Tony could only swallow his fear and hope they were being honest when they said they were taking him home.

 

In the growing uncertainty of where he was and where he was going, Tony just focused on the suit. Occasionally music would start playing, some songs he knew, some he didn't, and some he wished he would never hear again. It was good background noise though. Tony couldn't work when it was quiet, he couldn't focus if there was nothing to drown out the silence. So Peter played music and Tony would tinker on the suit, triple checking it was perfect.

 

Occasionally someone would wander down to check on him. One of the aliens, Mantis they called her, came to watch him the most often.

 

"Why do they call you Mantis?" Tony asked only once. "You look more like a beetle with those things sticking out of you head."

 

"It is my name." She said. "What is a beetle?"

 

She was a little unnerving. She spoke slowly, her smiles always a little awkward, but she watched him work and occasionally asked questions and narrating to her was about as close as having FRIDAY or JARVIS as he could get right now. It helped this all feel more real. He was really in outer space, he was really working on his own suit. His hands did the emotions and his voice described them.

 

"Why do they call you Tony?" She asked one day.

 

"It's my name." He said simply. "It's short for Anthony."

 

"Then why don't you go by Anthony?"

 

"Because it was my father's middle name. He wanted to name me after himself." Tony said, wrinkling his nose as he looked down at the suit, checking all the wiring in the repulsors for a third time since he fell through the wormhole.

 

"Do you not like your father?" Mantis asked.

 

"I really don't."

 

"Peter also has issues with his father, mostly because he was a celestial who murdered all of his other children as well as Peter's Earth mother. Perhaps you could bond over that?" Mantis said, showing another awkward smile. "I know you are lonely and he is interested in talking to you."

 

"Hey, hey. How's it going down here?!" Peter said quickly, stumbling down the steps into the cargo hold. He came to the bottom, caught himself from falling onto his face, and then settled with his hands on his hips.

 

"Were you listening in on our conversation?" Tony asked.

 

"I was not, I'm just here to see how you two are doing, the two newest on my ship. Becoming friends I see. Do you guys want any snacks?" Peter said.

 

Tony smiled and shook his head. Mantis looked at him and tried to mimic his expression. "No thank you, Peter. We do not need snacks at this time. I was simply telling Tony about your desire to copulate with him."

 

"What? No, I don't!" Peter's voice grew louder.

 

"Huh?" Tony asked, trying not to laugh as Mantis turned to him to nod eagerly.

 

"I sense it. He thinks about you often, even though you stay down here working." She said.

 

"There is a stranger on my ship, of course I think about him." Peter said.

 

"And obviously you watch us to know when to run down here to stop us from talking." Tony said, crossing his arms smugly and grinning at how pink Peter's cheeks got.

 

"It is a romantic, sexual love."

 

"For him?!" Peter was close to shrieking, eyes wide as he looked from Mantis to Tony. "I have never in my life been less attracted to someone. It's just a vague, comradery interest from being from Earth. Like, hey, same planet. It's cool. It's not sexual!"

 

"He's in denial, it's hard for him to accept his feelings." Mantis said.

 

"Stop telling him this! You are never, ever allowed to touch me again." Peter said. He pointed at Mantis as he shouted before turning on Tony. "Stop!"

 

Tony stared as Peter turned and retreated, marching up the stairs with loud steps.

 

~~~

 

This was ridiculous and outrageous. Peter was not attracted to Tony. It was a mild interest at most, a simple curiosity about his home planet. Just because Tony was from Earth and had been there his entire life, something Peter wondered about, doesn't mean he wanted him.

 

He marched down the halls to his private room. He preferred to be on the main deck, looking out the windows and seeing the main display of the ship. He could keep an eye on the people in his cargo hold and make sure oxygen levels were good. He could make sure they had enough supplies for the long journey back to Earth. They probably didn't, they would have to stop somewhere for restock before they hit an endless expanse of space between worlds.

 

Peter laid back on his bed, eyes tracing the lines of the ceiling, the metal bolted together like a puzzle making up the rooms of the ship. He felt a bit of relief to have the cameras away, the temptation to peek in on Tony working, telling Mantis all he was doing, and her talking to him and sharing everything. He would have to avoid touching her for a while, she couldn't just go off telling everyone ever thought and emotion in his head.

 

But he wasn't attracted to Tony. Only interested. It was just innocent curiosity.

 

There was a window near the bunk, just high enough for him to roll over and look out of it. Space was dark, the little pinpricks of light from the stars moving by slowly, some seeming to not move at all. Closer stars had a tendency to look like bigger, brighter pieces of light that zoomed by. Some of them weren't stars at all.

 

It used to be a game when he was a kid, stare out the window and see which stars were actually stars and which ones were spaceships, which ones were entire planets. He got it wrong most of the time.

 

Tony avoided looking out the windows. Peter had noticed. That man hated to look out at space. It wasn't just a general disinterest in it, Tony had covered the windows. The few times he had looked his eyes flashed with terror. Tony didn't like being out here and Peter started to look out the windows and wonder what was out there to be afraid of. Not the stars, certainly.

 

This was the view Peter had grown up with, the stars outside his window in every direction. This was the view Peter loved, he felt like he belonged on this ship floating through the stars. How could he be attracted to Tony when that man couldn't bear the sight of it?

 

Peter wished there was a way to fix it, to show Tony it wasn't as horrifying as the man seemed to think it was. He wanted to share this sky with him. He wanted to show everyone on Earth just how vast everything was. Peter pointed at a bright star, wondering how long it would take to get there if they changed course. It would take over a year, fourteen months, to reach Earth at this pace. Would Tony keep the windows covered until then?

 

~~~ 

 

"What?" Tony said, lifting his head as Peter came barreling down the steps and shouting so fast his words were incomprehensible. 

 

Peter landed at the bottom of the stairs, huffing a bit before he started talking again.

 

"I said...Well, I just wanted to see if you wanted to join the rest of the crew for dinner." Peter said quickly after he had taken a few deep breaths. "The whole crew, not just me. All of us. Up on the deck. I just think you've been on the ship for a while and you just never leave the cargo hold, you need to be socialized."

 

"Socialized..." Tony said. He looked down at his hands stained black with grease and his busted, bloody knuckles. He wasn't in the right state for guests, certainly not strangers who could throw him out of the airlock at any moment. The raccoon had threatened to do so many times.

 

"Yeah. You can't spend a whole year down here tinkering until we get to Earth. That sounds... awful." Peter said.

 

"I need to make sure my suit is in functioning order when we get back." Tony said. He needed to work. His hands were moving and his mind was occupied. He didn't have to think about anything else.

 

"You have months to get that done before we get there. Just dinner upstairs. Please?" Peter said.

 

Tony sighed, leaning away from the suit and standing up to wipe his hands on his pants. They were Peter's clothes. His own, single, outfit wasn't enough to get him through the months. It barely got him through the first few days.

 

He might as well go to dinner. He hadn't had a full meal since before the battle, before he fell into space and got picked up. Mantis always brought food when she came to sit with him, but never enough to substitute an actual meal. He told Peter to give him an hour to wash up and he would be there for dinner. He tried to think of what he would talk to them about, what questions to ask so he could better understand this group of aliens a bit better. 

 

Tony found a bathroom and showered. He scrubbed the layers of grease and sweat from himself and when he stepped out he felt good. He felt clean and his body lost some tension from the hot water and sanitizer. He picked up the clothes he had just taken off and sighed. They were filthy but he didn't feel like asking for something else.

 

He rolled the sleeves up and away from his hands and wiped any grease from the bottom of his boots so he wouldn't make a mess of dinner.

 

Tony had caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Admittedly he hadn't been sleeping well outside of the one time Gamora had knocked him out. Tony grimaced, shivering at the reminder. He had yet to find a good coffee substitute in the cold void of space.

 

Tony felt another shiver shoot down his spine and dismissed the thought from his head. He couldn't breathe, the ship felt like it was so cramped. He wanted to go back to the cargo hold he had claimed as his workshop and pretend space wasn't closing in around him from all sides.

 

He slid down onto the ground and ducked his head, slowing down his breathing as much as he could. In and out. In. Out. Another thing that fancy therapist taught him. Breathe through the panic. 

 

~~~ 

 

Peter didn't feel bad for lying. He waited patiently for Tony to come up, but the rest of the Guardians were off somewhere else. He had panicked when inviting Tony up. He had wanted Tony to relax and tell him stories of Earth and play his game with him, looking out at the stars and wondering.

 

Tony was taking a while to come upstairs. Peter stared at the food and hoped it would be good. They weren't like Earth foods, but they were close enough. The meat was similar enough, just a bit stringy.

 

When Tony finally wandered upstairs he looked tired. His eyes were downcast and his shoulders slightly slumped. When Tony finally looked up his features twisted into something else.

 

"Am I so late everyone else took off?" Tony said.

 

"Um... Actually I just wanted you to come up and have dinner....with me." Peter said. Fourteen months. Tony would be on this ship with them for fourteen months until they reached Earth, even if they took any shortcuts. They should at least try and be friends.

 

"Is this because you're attracted to me?" Tony asked.

 

"No! It's not. I just want to...know more about Earth. It's been a while." Peter said. Tony had crossed his arms over his chest, closing off his body language and Peter felt like he was ruining it. He just didn't want to overwhelm Tony with everyone on his rare trip out of the cargo hold. Especially not with Gamora or Rocket.

 

"What do you want to know about Earth?" Tony said.

 

"Well remember my Zune? It has a lot of music on it, more music the I'vehad in a long time. Can you look through it and see if there's anything you like?" Peter said. Some part of him hoped that if he could get Tony to share music with him then maybe everything would be okay. It was a stupid plan, but music hadn't failed him yet.

 

Tony wrinkled his nose as he looked at the small device Peter held out. "How will that help you learn about Earth?"

 

"All the music I ever had I got from my mom. It was my connection to home. But this I got from Yondu." Peter said.

 

Tony huffed and took it. "The alien who kidnapped you?" Tony said.

 

"Well...yeah." Peter said. "Anyway, I love that thing. And I figured if someone from Earth could share the music with me then it would feel like home too."

 

Tony stared at it, turning it on and scrolling through the songs. A lot of them Peter hadn't had the chance to get to yet. Tony had fresh eyes and he might just know the songs already and know of a few that Peter would enjoy. He recognized that Toto song when he first landed on the ship.

 

"Here. This one is good. Nice and calm, the singer has the softest voice. It's relaxing." Tony said. He handed the zine back to Peter, who put in his headphones and offered one to Tony.

 

Tony frowned, but still took the little bud and put it in his ear so they could listen together. The song started off with some instrumentals, a woman humming. When the music started to pick up the woman started singing, mostly just random mumbles but a few phrases about returning and not letting it burn.

 

Tony was right. The woman had an incredibly soft voice, Peter loved the song immediately in just the first few seconds without even understanding what was being said. It sounded so beautiful, and Peter got to hear it for the first time in one ear and Tony hearing it as well from the other earbud. Tony, just barely a foot in front of him, swaying slightly on his feet either from exhaustion or from the song. The large window here on the deck was at Tony's back, the man had carefully been avoiding looking at it, and showed an endless sea of stars.

 

The main chorus picked up and it was a love song. There was something brilliant and perfect about this soft, pixie voice saying that she was a fool for someone as Tony looked up at him. Tony looked tired, his eyes dark and his body stiff with tension. Still refusing to look at the window. Peter shouldn't have dragged him up here.

 

He reached out carefully, taking Tony's arms, fingers curling into a filthy, grease stained sleeve, and pulling Tony to him. The man was definitely exhausted, slumping over against him and they both swayed together and Peter knew he was gone on this boy. He blamed the song. This girl with the soft, pretty voice. His mother would have loved this song.

 

“You know I’m such a fool for you…” Tony hummed softly. For a single moment Peter’s heart leaped as he thought Tony was talking to him. But Tony sounded so tired and his voice so quiet it was hardly a noise at all. He was just whispering the words to the song.

 

“You got me wrapped around your finger.” Peter hummed back, figuring out a few of the words a few choruses in.

 

"I won't tell anyone that you're in love with me if you promise not to tell a single person on Earth that I'm a fan of the Cranberries." Tony mumbled. He sounded so close to falling asleep.

 

"I'm not in love with you." Peter said.

 

"That's the spirit." Tony said. He kept swaying, even as the chorus ended into another series of nonsensical lyrics that were hard to understand. Peter liked holding him was all. Tony was warm. He was his connection to home, he had good taste in music. That was all it was.

 

He watched the stars, the closer ones zooming by and the ones farther out seemed to stay put right where they were outside of the window. He wanted to show them to Tony. Not yet. Tony needed to sleep first.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone loves Linger by the Cranberries   
> fight me!


End file.
